Write your contract

No position on the spectrum is the right one. What makes any of them work is the same: say the terms out loud, and keep them. A contract is where you do both.

Sixteen sections, one at a time

  1. 1Who we are
  2. 2Our positions
  3. 3Term and renewal
  4. 4What we want from this
  5. 5Other connections
  6. 6Social visibility
  7. 7Time together
  8. 8Check-ins
  9. 9Sexual health
  10. 10Mental health
  11. 11Money
  12. 12Boundaries
  13. 13When we disagree
  14. 14When life happens
  15. 15Changing or ending it
  16. 16Signatures

The same sixteen sections work for an exclusive marriage, an open couple or a network of five. Some you write; some, like the health protocol and the conflict ladder, are the same in every contract.

Draft yours

Step 1 of 15

Who's in this?

Everyone this contract covers, with their own four dials. If you've taken the quiz, yours are already filled in.

Not sure of a dial? Take the quiz first.

An example

Three people, three different positions, one contract.

DeLove Partnership Contract

Between
Ana (The Anchor ⚓), Ben (The Anchor ⚓), Chloe (The Sovereign 🏝️)
Term
6 months
Date of signing
________________

  1. 1.Who we are

    This contract is between Ana, Ben and Chloe. It binds only the people who sign it.

    • Ana — The Anchor ⚓
    • Ben — The Anchor ⚓
    • Chloe — The Sovereign 🏝️

  2. 2.Our positions

    PersonSexual Exclusivity *Romantic Exclusivity *Partnership Structure *Intent *
    AnaOpenMono-romanticCoupleCommitted
    BenOpenMulti-romanticCoupleCommitted
    ChloePolyMulti-romanticSoloCasual

    * Where our dials differ. Worth talking through before signing.

  3. 5.Other connections

    • Ana and Ben are married. Ben and Chloe are dating.
    • Ben tells Ana before a date with Chloe, not after.

  4. 8.Check-ins

    Check-inHow oftenWho
    Regular check-inMonthlyAll of us
    Mid-term reviewHalfway through the termAll of us
    Renewal conversationBefore the term endsAll of us

An excerpt — the full contract has sixteen sections.

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Choose another path

Understand the idea, see the map, or find your position in the quiz.

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